“I Know How You Feel.”
Everyone’s down in their own way – and everyone has different coping mechanisms for those feelings of being low/unhappy with life. What works for one person might not work at all for another! So when people try telling someone they know how they feel, this doesn’t make sense because there are many ways some people can be unhappy while others have unique experiences that keep them going through tough times. It’s great if someone truly DOES understand what you’re going through on an emotional level, but don’t assume your experience is the same as someone else’s just because you’re “feeling it.”
“You should Go Do Something Fun!”
It can be hard to get yourself out of bed and spend money on things when everything feels so bleak. Suggesting that people who are feeling down should “go have some fun” implies they need an excuse for having a good time, which makes them feel less deserving or like they don’t know how to enjoy themselves unless there’s an underlying reason involved (like wanting to cheer up). So if your friend says they’re feeling really sad one day but doesn’t want anything in particular done about it, try suggesting doing something more low-key instead of trying to convince them why relaxing isn’t worth it.
“Just Try To Be Positive!”
This sounds terrible, too, when you tell someone what to do to feel better. It’s another way of saying “you just have to want it enough” – which is also not true! The thing about being positive when you’re feeling low is that sometimes the last thing on your mind right now are happy thoughts or trying new things/new perspectives. Depression can make people very introspective and self-aware, so these types of suggestions might only serve as reminders of why they don’t already see their lives in a different light (“I’m always negative,” etc.)
Conclusion:
It’s pretty obvious why saying these things to people when they’re feeling down is not helpful. It might be challenging for everyone around the person struggling, but it would probably make them feel even worse if they knew their friends were being so dismissive about how severe depression can get! Lastly, it’s important to remember that everyone goes through their own tough times and that it’s okay to feel the way you do.